Dr. Beads

Saturday, February 26, 2005

Is There a Lawyer in the Family?

My daughter is offended by my use of the word "asshat." This means that I must use the less-satisfying, more scatological word "asshole," or its euphemism, "a-hole," when referring to people who shouldn’t be allowed to drive SUVs, to Repugs and other dangerous looneys, to various social parasites, to a few people I knew in my younger days, etc.

"Foul language is the refuge of the unintelligent, Rachel (alias)," I hear you say. "Why not use your large vocabulary and enviable imagination, not to mention your years and years of education, to provide better descriptions of these people, instead of resorting to bad words?"

I could, indeed, use my overeducated brain, remarkable imagination, and immense, multilingual vocabulary to craft crisp and accurate profiles, instead of saying merely "asshat" or the like, but it’s hard to provide a profanity-free commentary while driving in commute traffic and being menaced by someone driving an SUV laden with pro-Bush stickers.

I find "asshat" a useful and satisfying word in this situation. Nay, it is more than useful and satisfying -- it is necessary and sufficient.

My freedom of expression is being limited by my offspring's sensitivity.

I may sue.


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