Dr. Beads

Sunday, October 30, 2005

They call me...DOCTOR Beads

At Safeway, it's hit or miss whether they call me by my last name (as shown on my credit card and at the bottom of the receipt), or by my husband's last name (associated with our discount card). They have to call you by name, as if they know you. The official reason has to do with improving the shopping experience (right), but I think it's really to give would-be stalkers in line behind you a head start.

The other day, after waiting overly long in the express line (don't they know that lots of people shop on weekend afternoons?), my purchases were finally rung up, and the clerk said, "Thank you, Mrs. Martin." I was in one of my moods, so I said, not unkindly, "It's Dr. Beads, actually." He replied, with a grim look, "Well, I'm a reverend, but you can call me Bob."

Fine, Bob, fine. But you're not my customer, and by the way, I'm not only authorized to perform marriages, I can make most of the bride's jewelry and accessories. That's why they call me...DOCTOR Beads.


  • Not only do they have to mis-state your name when handing you the receipt... They also have to double bag every single purchase you make, even if the purchase is just a block of cheese. Or a pint of milk. Or scallions.

    And no, I don't need "help out" with my double-bagged 4-oz bunch of scallions. Thanks, think I got it.

    By Blogger Jen(n), at 9:51 PM  

  • I stopped shopping at Safewway when they started calling me by name. I hate that fakiness, like we're friends or something! And of course with my unusual last name they can never pronounce it anyway! Here are two real-life encounters between me and the poor, hapless Safeway checkers who ended up waiting on me:

    1. Checker: "Thank you, Ms....... how do you say your last name?"
    Me: "Why don't you just say 'Thank you' and I'll say 'Have a nice day' or something like that. We aren't friends. We don't need to call each other by name." (That went over well!)

    2. Checker: "Thank you, Ms....... how do you say your last name?"
    Me: "Smith"

    By Blogger Gwendolyn, at 8:58 PM  

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