Dr. Beads

Friday, January 05, 2007

In Which I Begin a String of Foul-Mouthed and Often Profane Posts

It's time to let the innner sailor out, people.

I recently went to a conference at which we, the attendees, were wined and dined in exchange for having our presence, activities, and attention controlled for over 12 hours a day.

The last full day of the conference, two pudgy men in front of me in the lavish lunch line were talking about their disappointment in the food.

"I haven't had a good plate of greens the whole time," griped one.

My thoughts in response (order approximate):

1.) Fuck you.
2.) We had a lovely plate of greens last night to start off dinner on the harbor cruise, so
3.) Fuck you.
4.) We just had a nationwide safety scare about spinach, so
5.) Fuck you.
6.) We've had fresh fruit at every meal and fresh vegetables at every lunch and dinner, so
7.) Fuck you.
8.) The Manchurian accent isn't cute. Shut the fuck up.
Oh, and by the way,
9.) Fuck you.


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