Dr. Beads

Thursday, June 30, 2005

I Expected Linus's Brother to Have More Sense Than This

Maybe I'm naive, but I expected Linus's brother to have more sense than this.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Living the Porpoiseful* Life

I just wish my mother had taught me anything half as useful as these mothers routinely do.

Seriously, though, I welcome our new cetacean overlords.


*OK, OK, they're dolphins. Don't have a sea cow.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Need a Job?

You can be Deep Throat II!

This job posting is too full of gems to quote them out of context. Read it and laugh, then weep.

Friday, June 03, 2005

HR Death March

I had a dream that can only be described as an “HR* death march.” Coworkers and I were on a plane in the company of an overly peppy manager, who insisted on telling us, repeatedly, how great the required HR program we were flying to was going to be. (The rest of us knew that it would be time-wasting and soul-crushing. We've had experience.)

In a nearby seat, a coworker faced the manager and said, in a deep, sorrowful voice, “I am trapped on a plane with you. On a plane that serves alcohol every fifty-one minutes.”

In the film version, this coworker will be played by Alan Rickman.

*HR = Human Resources