Driving Ms., Make That Dr., Beady

I was driving my daughter to an extracurricular activity in the part of town that's lousy with retirement homes.

An aged driver was not only going 10 mph below the limit in the left-hand lane, but drifting into the neighboring lane as I tried to get past.

I asked my daughter, "When I can't drive safely any more, please take my keys away."

She replied, "I can drive you then. That'll be in, what -- two or three years?"

Polyglot, PO'd

My daughter read me some aphorisms in various languages.

When she got to one in German, I couldn't understand some of the words.*

I asked her for the translation, which was "You should serve understanding and wisdom."

I replied, "I serve people who couldn't do my job if you held a gun to their heads."

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*But I did correct her pronunciation. Pardon me -- gotta polish my "Head Girl" badge.

Serve With a Side Order of Pretzels

“Foods to serve during the Super Bowl?”

Forget that.

I’d like to serve these meatballs, made to the original recipe, at the White House.