Reboot that Wig

My hair guy (hi, hair guy!) told me about a line of hair dyes that he no longer uses.

"It doesn't hold onto the hair well, but it's indelible on linoleum," he said.

We agreed that it must be from Microsoft's haircare branch.

Farwell to All That

I just returned from a two-day business trip to Southern California.

In a weird way, I enjoy these trips, in part because they make me appreciate the area where I live (Northern California) so much more.

Air is not supposed to be gray and thick.

I know, I know, my preference for Northern California ignores the many cultural advantages of Southern California.

Like the chance to choose among five In-n-Out Burgers during a moderate commute.

Or the mile after mile of shopping malls near the freeways, and the mile after mile of housing developments farther back.

And the wonderful choice among Target, Mervyn's, and (gasp) Mall*Wart! Within a few blocks of one another!

Don't Shoot, I'm Driving a Compact Car!

This evening, on the streets of a Southern California town that shall remain nameless, I saw two, count 'em, two Hummers. A mini-convoy, if you will.

O.M.F.G.

I was tempted to throw up my hands and shout, "Don't shoot! I look vaguely ethnic, that's true, but I'm driving a compact car! Waste all the gas you want! I can spare you some!"

The Moving Corgi Barks and, Having Barked, Moves On

My son and I were waiting in line at the local pet food/supply store with the family dog, so that I could buy heartworm preventive for the pooch.

Our crazy dog made good use of his time by barking and lunging at every other dog that came within 10 feet. I shortened the leash, but he kept trying to lunge on a limited basis.

After a while, I said to my son, "Dog-Beast (alias) isn't barking now."

David (alis) replied, "I don't think he's getting enough oxygen to bark."